Lost

Shortly after Thanksgiving, my father y his lover split up. This isn't the first time that I've had to deal with my dad losing a lover, but this time it's different. I've never seen him so depressed. I mean he has stopped responding to my emails y my texts. His own family is worried about him but yeah.
I was talking to my mom today y we talked about, what would happen if he did off himself within the next few months? I mean it's scary how depressed he is. I just don't know what to do for him. We have a thing called religion that stops us from having a true relationship. I mean I try y always will try, but he cannot get over the fact that I will not stop going to the LDS faith. He hates it so much, he told me little brother on a mission, not to call him this year for Christmas.
My biggest streangh is also my biggest flaw, I care to much about others. I would honestly be a wreck if my dad did decide to end his life, I would have no idea how to handle it. I mean I wouldn't be mad at him, I would ache, only because I know that he is not y will never be ready to leave this world. I love my Dad for what he has taught me.
I learned passion from him. Those who have read his emails from the prop 8 deal will understand his passion, mine is completle different, but I know how to be passionate. I also ahve learned to stand up for what I believe, no matter what it is. Yes he stands up for Gay rights y I support the LDS church. Both of those things are important to us in our own way.
Again I love my dad y even if he hasn't been around much while I have grown up, I would be completely lost if he did steal the chance I have to build a relationship with him. A relationship that he has never had with his own father.
I'll be Lost.