People want to know why I have no desire to date others. Well the one thing that no one really knows is that I have a hard time trusting people. Ever since I was a little one, I've been super friendly and someone who'll listen to anyone's problems, but you would never find me talking about mine to other people.
My Dad and Mom split up when I was 5 years old. I saw the pain and the suffering that my Mom experienced and how she has become a real reserved person. My little brother is the opposite of me, he has a hard time getting out and meeting new people, but once he does, he connects real fast with that person and there is a trust. I on the other hand, have no problem meeting new people and making new friends, the difference is I am not one to let anyone get to close to me.
In the past 8 months I've dated a couple of girls, the first one didn't last because I wouldn't allow myself to open up to her, she wanted to know how to help me and I just wouldn't t let her. The other was one person that I trusted completely. We would stay up most of the night talking and enjoying each others company. I honestly had no secrets from her, I would have done anything for her and in the end she left me. It really didn't affect me for that first couple of weeks, but it is harder now than it was at first. I understand how my mother feels now. She had a deeper relationship with my father, but to love someone and have them call it all off, I really never knew how much it would suck. Well that is why I do not want to date.
I know that to go on a date with a girl, doesn't mean anything, but if there is another and another after that I'm not ready to jump into anything because I'm just afraid of getting hurt yet again. So yeah., well hope all is well.
