People tell me that I have grown up a lot over the past few months, but my good friends, still act as if I am the irresponsible one, the screw up that can't be serious. I don't like the way, that I feel around them, I hate feeling inferior to anyone. I can't say that about feeling superior, but I only like that feeling when playing sports. I want to be equal to others.
I have grown up a lot. A year ago, if you told me that I would have the best semesters of my life, I wouldn't have believed you. Or that I would have been engaged y then have it called off, again I wouldn't have believed you.
I guess, I hate being around my old friends, because all I see is how I have, yet again, screwed my life up. How I had something awesome in Kate, but again I did something wrong.
I know this, no matter what, I am a better person because of Kate. She helped my focus on what is important in my life.
I realized that I have a lot of complications in my life, I am broken y I have no idea how to fix me. I put a mask on, so that those that know me don't see the pain that I am really in. I don't want to be a burden on others, I just want to be me y happy again.
