Perfect

I don't know if I have ever posted about the guys I work with, but last night during my marathon shift here, I Am Sam was on TV, (Watching movies is one of the only thing that doesn't put me to sleep) y here is just one of the clips of dialogue that touched me;

Sam: Yeah, but I tried, I tried hard.
Rita: Try harder!
Sam: Yeah, but you don't know, you don't know!
Rita: I don't know WHAT?
Sam: Yeah, you don't know what is like when you try, and you try, and you try, and you try, and you don't ever get there! Because you were born perfect and I was born like this, and you're perfect!
Rita: Oh, is that right?
Sam: People like you don't know...
Rita: People like me?
Sam: People like you don't know what is like to get hurted. Because you don't have feelings. People like you don't feel anything!

I then sit back y realize that people do treat others that have disabilities differently. I took my guys to see the new Narnia movie at the $1 theater y the lady that was sitting behind us, as soon as we sat down, ushered her 2 kids to seats farther away from us, looking at me like I was insane for endangering her family with my guys.
Since I've been working with my guys, I've spent less time with the people I usually hung out with growing up. It's not that I have meant to do it, but I've learned so many lessons here at work. In my mind these three are just as perfect as a kid that has not reached the age of accountability that we read about in the scriptures.
The first thing that I have learned is the lesson of compassion! Have you ever been having a horrible day y do not know how to make it feel better? There are not many normal people that will take the time to figure out why, you feel bad or truly try to make you feel better. The thing is people that have mental retardation are some of the only people I know that will see a stranger crying y almost demand to give them a hug y tell them that they are loved. I know that there are some of us, that would do the same thing, but these guys are like little kids, they seriously want everyone to be happy.
Love is another feeling I've learned about here during my time with my guys. There isn't a day that doesn't go by where they are not looking for their daily hugs from me. They also will tell you how much they love you, at least 2-3 times a day. They are not ashamed of their feelings, but I wonder if we just assume ourselves that no one needs to hear it from us.
They've also mastered the art of forgiveness! I've seen so many of them say mean y hurtful things to one another only to turn right around 10 seconds later feeling bad y seeking forgiveness from whomever they have wronged. They might have told me to shut up, or that they were mad at me, but they are quick to say sorry while the other guys will always forgive them.
People are scared of what they don't know or understand. I figure that is why some people are afraid of people that I work with. Doing so, makes them feel like they are worthless y they ask us some times, do people think I'm retarded or I wish I was more perfect like you. Whenever that happens I want to take them into my arms, but again the law says I can't. We do talk though y I mention to them that they are better for what they have, not what they do not have. They have mastered three of the Christ like attributes that I am trying to obtain or perfect even more. People with a handicap are closer to being like Christ in this earth than most of us will ever be.
Try not to pass judgment to quickly, you might be surprised what you learn about others!

The Never List

I was reading a random blog of y they had a Never List. That is a list of things that you will never do. I'm ashamed to admit that my list is going to be a reminder never to do anything that I've already done in the future.

The list is subject to change, but for now this is it.

Never take the Gospel for granted
Never let fear win
Never let hatred control how I treat others
Never go a day without forgiving others
Never put myself in dangerous situations again
Never lose faith in the Lord
Never lose faith in myself
Never leave things unsaid
Never think that I am without wrong
Never give up on Love
Never fall back into my vices
Never stay quiet when I should voice what I believe in.

Fire

That is the only word I can think of that can describe what I've been through these past 24 hours. I've had sore throats before y I've been able to just buck up y handle it, but last night my throat would wake me up about every hour, keeping me from sleeping much. Try imagining a fan while camping y you can feel the warmth of the camp fire, now imagine that heated is found inside of your own throat y then intensify it 100 times. It turns out that I have strep throat, I don't remember the last time that I had strep. It was bad enough that I wasted the whole day in bed, I hate being lazy, but alas today was worth it. I am on the mend y hope to make it to school tomorrow, well today to be honest!

Don't you love flowers

So a little over a week ago, I decided to go y meet my friends roommate. I've heard a lot about her y was intrigued to get to know her a little better. So what I did was have a bouquet of flowers arraigned from my mothers garden y I cleaned out the rest of the SS treats to take over there (you can never visit someone for the first time empty handed). Well low y behold I ended up leaving the flowers over at the wrong apt. The funny thing was that I didn't even give the wrong apt my name. I assumed that it was my friends apt until she mentioned that I hadn't left anything.
Thursday I make it back over to that apt to retrieve the vase. The same girl answered the door y I explained, in detail none the less, how I had managed to end up at the wrong house y I needed the vase back, but the flowers were to remain as a welcome back to BYU present. No info was exchanged as she gracefully returned the vase with the whole "Yeah just get out of here", look plastered on her face.
As I meandered home, it dawned on me that in my back yard there were dozens of fresh flowers that needed homes y that this year I didn't have a girlfriend to take them to. So I hatched a plan to adopt my mistake apt as my new flower apt.
Saturday after the poorly played BYU game, Zac y I decided to take our flowers around y bring the students of Provo the cheer that they needed. We of course started again with my friends apt, the right one. We knocked on the door y handed the girl a nice bouquet of flowers without leaving our names, stating welcome to BYU y disappeared into the sunset, it was dusk at the moment. We had a TON of flowers left over, so for the next hour we walked the streets of BYU handing out flowers to the ladies that we passed. Most of them were surprised but graciously accepted our gifts.
It was one of the most amazing nights of my life. I truly enjoyed the randomness of it all. I figure that every week, I shall take up the task of handing flowers out to anybody y everybody when I can. If only to bring a little cheer into their lives. I know that my partner in crime will gladly join me because we are pathetic like that, I mean we are not lucky to know any girls in specific to give the flowers too. Another reason why I took Zac along with me, was because I tried to knock on the door of my friend to meet her roommate before, but I could not. The butterflies in my stomach were to much. So I fell onto my safety net, Zac. I'm weak I know, I just haven't been this nervous to meet anyone for a long time. Well the moral of the story is, if you see two random guys on BYU handing out flowers, we're not looking for your numbers or to flirt with you, we just want to bring cheer into your day!

The Heroes journey

I hope that no female that reads this post will think that I am a sexist pig, because I am not. This is a blog all about how dating is just like the heroes journey. It all starts for most Latter Day Saints around the age of 16. We are given all that task to start dating. As we start we are not as comfortable with it as we should be, but it grows on us. As all Heroes, we also take leave from our life to change ourselves to fully accept our quest or duties; we serve a mission for two years.
After returning we are supposed to go y follow that white rabbit down the hole or go y find the Holy Grail aka future companion.
Along the way we have many mini quests that help prepare us to obtain our desire. We date, we earn money to go on dates y meet new people. There are also set backs in our quest, we have our hearts broken, we lose our jobs, we fail a class, but in the end good always triumphs over evil.
You can argue that true life is nothing like that, people have our their own free choice y that good doesn't always win, sometimes "Goliath kicks the crap out of David" and that is true, but like I said, it is just a minor set back.
Once you get out there y find your Holy Grail, don't let go, but if you do lose her, don't worry you'll find her. You just have to wait your turn y not give up, because she's out there (or he, for the female sake) just learning what to contrast you against.
In the end we will all win, but it might not be with whom we think it will be. So my faithful Heroes on your own personal quests, don't give up hope. Be humbly y keep on keepin' on!!!

Time

So a close family friend was over the other day y was talking to my mom about her relationship woes, well mainly was getting it off her chest how guys dumb, she's had two guys try to kiss her in the past week, but then their conversation turned towards others y their relationships that they are in or are not in. I admit, I was sitting downstairs taking in every word, mainly because my name came up y they talked about how an old girl that I dated y contemplated marrying broke my heart. Hearing this opened the flood gate of emotions that I've hidden so well over the past year.
I had to leave the house to figure out why I still felt the way that I did for this certain female. So I went on a power hike up the Y trying to bury the memories y pain. While I was sitting a top of the Y the impressions came to me, first that I live in an amazing part of Provo to be able to leave my house y boom, I have a canyon y the Y trail head right there to climb y the other was this is why you've not had luck with other girls since, you're afraid of the same thing happening.
This post most likely doesn't make any sense to anyone else, since my thoughts are not people thoughts y people thoughts are not my thoughts.
Just to our family friend, my mom was correct the girl did break my heart, came back y gave me hope only to pour salt back into the wounds again. It's to the point that where ever I go, that I have gone with her, I see her there. It's been over a year since we dated y yeah.
To those that have had their hearts ripped out y never given back, don't give up hope like I have. Give it time y all will be better. I'm starting to have faith again y it does get better with time. Just give it time, nothing else will help you cope with it, but good friends y a nice long cry!!!!

Hearts

Last night I watched a movie entitled "The Mighty". It's about two boys that have a few problems physically y mentally, but when they are together they make up one person. The love they show each other, really touched me. Max loved Freak more than anyone else, I mean the kid was abnormally big for his age in the movie, but Freak was freakishly small y the other characters in the movie made many comments about the how much love Max had in his heart for others. He was what Freak called a "Pass a Fist", because he would try to stay out of trouble.

I bring this up because I've been thinking about me. I like to think of myself as a friend to all no matter of how they looked or what limitations that they had. I also bring this up because it reminded me a lot of President Monson. It has been said by a highly ranked official in another religion; "Once you meet Tom, he's your friend". I think that is a nice compliment coming from another leader of another faith. So why can't we be more like the Prophet? Why should we let anger or pride enter into our lives? Why can we not be happy all of the time?