I love Utah but I've gotten to the point that I am fed up of being here in a place of no change. I need change in my life. My life at the moment is going to school and then to work. Day in and day out. On the weekends I'll get together with some buddies of mine, unless they are busy with their girls, and we'll hang out. It's not that I don't appreciate everyone and appreciate my life I just need a change. I need to leave the bubble I am living in and go somewhere, where not everyone had the same values, where I can make a difference for doing what is right. Here I am just lost in the crowd.
I keep telling myself that I am going to leave Provo and come back occasionally, but I cannot bring myself to leave my mom and my good friend Zac. Both need me at the moment, but for how much longer? Will I be ready to leave when I am not needed anymore? It seems that no matter how much I've tried to change everyone keeps pulling me back down to how I used to be, let me free. I need to be free.
I'm sick of the same question I always receive from others, are you dating? Do you have a GF? Are you engaged? The answer will always be no until they stop asking. I don't date, why because I cannot win. No matter how hard I've tried I've never been good enough for anyone in Utah.
If I want to leave so bad, why did I decide to run for Utah Valley next year? I've come to the fact that track is the only thing that truly makes me happy besides reading my scriptures and doing other churchy things.
Those were a few things that have been bothering me as of late. I need to be better at posting.
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